Klonoa & The Exotic Express: A Tribute to Bruce Blitz
by Sideshow27
Summary: Note: This story is a tribute to Bruce Blitz. What happens when Klonoa accidentally wakes up in an unknown world where phony wrestlers party with feminine queers and commentators who are obsessed with strange body parts? Chaos! Will Klonoa escape the Exotic Express and not become a rose bud like Adam Rose and a few other people want him too? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE: I do not own Klonoa or anything from WWE. If I did own WWE, John Cena would not be WWE World Heavyweight Champion right now! Anyways, have fun reading the story and hope you like it! This is a story in dedication to Bruce Blitz.**

Klonoa had woken up in a dark room. The last thing he remembered was his great yet new friend, Huepow sending him back home after accomplishing everything he had to do in Phatomile. Klonoa sighed in sadness, not knowing if he would ever return to Phantomile and see Huepow and all his other friends from that world again. But now was not the time to grieve. Now was the time to find how where he was.

Klonoa sat up and rubbed at his head. He was certain that this was not his home. He began to hear some kind of upbeat music from inside the walls it seemed. Then he heard some people shouting as if they were singing to the beat.

"Oh woooaaahhh oh oohhh! Oh WOOOOOOAAAAAAAOOOOOHHHHHH!" the people continued to sing over and over again. Klonoa slowly got up and walked over to the side of the wall where he could hear the commotion and put his floppy left ear to the wall. The singing kept going on for what seemed like ages and ages, but then that all stopped when a voice spoke up.

"Now are we all here having a wonderful time at the party?!" cried an unfamiliar male British voice. The people responded with cheer.

"Now when is it party time?" the British voice asked.

"ALL THE TIME!" the people shouted in response.

"Nice nice." the British voice said. "Now for the lemons at this party, I advise you with this one last message before we get back to having fun." The British voice inhaled before shouting out happily. "Don't be a lemon," Then the people said along with him, "BE A ROSE BUD!"

The British voice then gave the go ahead to continue the music as the people got back to singing the same song it sounded like.

Klonoa began to wonder what a 'rose bud' was. His grandfather had always told him about roses, but the way the British voice sounded, it was something to enjoy being. Klonoa didn't have to ask what the adjective meaning for a lemon would be. He could probably guess it and get it right.

Klonoa decided that it was time to ask questions, so he went to find a door to the pitch black room he was in. Klonoa began feeling the walls to find some kind of knob. Klonoa growled softly a little, knowing that it would be easier for him had it not been for the people at the party singing the same exact thing every two seconds!

Klonoa took a deep breath to calm himself down and eventually found a knob.

"Wahoo!" Klonoa shouted quietly in happiness as he slowly turned the knob. Klonoa then pushed the door gently open and peaked out of it to see what was going on. He widened his eyes at the sight of what looked to be at least over a hundred people in a certain spot, wearing strange colorful costumes, and dancing while singing the same exact song that already began to piss off Klonoa.

"Hey! What are you doing out of there?!" shouted the voice of a man that sounded like he played with dildos for a living.

"Huh?" Klonoa looked to his right to see where the voice came from. There storming down the hall looking like a fucking idiot was a short, chubby gay man who had black short hair, had a pink dildo in his left hand and was wearing a black tight thong. Klonoa widened his eyes and opened his mouth a bit in disgust at what he saw.

"Don't you stare at me like that!" shouted the man as he waved the dildo in Klonoa's face. "I told you I'd come and blow your little cock after I was done with John Cena!"

"Um...sir, what are you talking about?" Klonoa asked with fear and confusion. "And why are you holding what looks like a human pe-, OW!" Klonoa didn't finish his sentence because the man had whacked him in the face with his dildo, sending the poor rabbit like kid to the ground.

"It's a dildo, you moron!" the man shouted. "God, what is wrong with kids these days?! I thought they learned more shit when I used to fuck The Miz!"

Klonoa looked up at the man and tried to get up, but the man pinned him down with his knees and carressed Klonoa's cheek with the dildo.

"I like dildos." the man said. "Do you?"

Klonoa began squirming. Already scared that he thought this was a place where the kids come and get raped. "G-GET OFF ME!" Klonoa began to scream. "LEAVE ME ALONE! SOMEBODY HELP!"

The man then stuck the dildo in Klonoa's mouth. "Shut up, kid!" he shouted and then grabbed Klonoa's balls and began squeezing them in a perverted way. "I can't have Adam Rose hear us."

"Michael Cole, what's going on here?" asked the British voice that Klonoa had heard earlier. Michael Cole gasped and got up and turned around to face a man that was about six foot one in height, had long brown hair which was straight and part of it wrapped in a ponytail. He looked to be a feminine kind of man wearing tight black pants and a black vest, plus he walked like a woman.

"Mr. Adam Rose, I'm terribly sorry!" the man whose name appeared to be Michael Cole said in a desperate fashion. "I'll get back to sucking Cena's dick."

"Now hold on, Cole." Adam Rose said in his feminine British accent. "No need to get all itty bitty scared and all. I think it's nice that you made a friend out of our new rose bud." Adam Rose formed an evil smile at the end of the sentence.

Klonoa sat up and spat the dildo out of his mouth and glared at them. "Okay, somebody better tell me what the heck is going on?! Why was this penis smuggler trying to rape me? And what in all of the purest dreams is a rose bud?!"

Michael Cole began to giggle like a little child as Adam Rose held up his fist and walked towards Klonoa. "Pull down your pants." he said in a sinister way.

"WHAT?!" Klonoa shrieked in disgust and fear. Adam Rose responded by grabbing him violently by the throat and lifted him in the air.

"Don't question me, you little nitty!" he said. "Now take off your pants so you can become a rose bud!" With that, Adam Rose tried to yank off Klonoa's pants as Klonoa was losing consciousness as a result of being brutally strangled by Adam Rose.

With the last bit of effort, Klonoa coughed up some phlegm and spat in Adam Rose's eye.

"OH! MY EYE!" cried Adam Rose in a gayly kind of way as he released Klonoa to check on his eye.

Klonoa then ran at the door, despite Michael Cole being there. Michael Cole was smart enough to think fast and tripped Klonoa before he could reach the door.

"How dare you spit in the eye of a man who likes to have fun!" Michael Cole growled as he got on one knee and yanked Klonoa's pants down. "Ya know, we do need another rabbit to be a rose bud." he said as he formed a fist. "Hold onto something." he laughed.

"No!" Klonoa shouted as he turned onto his back and grabbed Michael Cole's arm and bit it, causing him to scream like the little bitch he is, sucking Vince McMahon's dick and riding John Cena's cock like he was a while ago.

Klonoa then released his biting grip on Cole's arm and ran out of the room and into the pit of party people.

"Hey, wanna dance?!" shouted a gay guy in a bunny suit. Klonoa growled and ran up to him, doing a back flip and kicking it in the face, sending it flying into a table.

"Hey, you don't touch the bunny!" shouted another man dressed in a lemon suit.

"Yeah, let's get him!" shouted another guy in a cheeseburger suit.

Klonoa ran at them and jumped in the air, grabbing their heads and bumping them together. Klonoa then picked up the cheeseburger guy by the leg and swung him into the lemon guy, causing them to topple over some other party people.

Klonoa turned around and once he did, he was met with a right fist from Adam Rose, which sent Klonoa a few feet from him. Klonoa groaned in pain as he looked up at Adam Rose.

"You can spit in my eye, and you can bite Michael Cole," Adam Rose growled. "But you never...ever...touch my lemon!" Adam Rose ran at Klonoa like a gay faggot, which made Klonoa feel awkward again. However, Klonoa got up again and ran at Adam Rose, picking him up and ramming him onto a couch, toppling it over as they collided with it. Then, Klonoa began to punch Adam Rose continuously in the face with his fists as Adam Rose did his best to try and block them.

After a thirty seconds of this, Klonoa got off of Adam Rose and yanked him by the hair, pulling him over to some part of the party place. However, he was stopped by the one and only...JOOOOOOHHHHHNNNNN CEEEEENNNNAAAAAA!

John Cena ran in with his jean shorts halfway pulled down and his dick dripping some jizz. Cena leaped in and punched Klonoa in the face, sending him to the floor. Cena then pulled his shorts back up and waved his hand in his face like a fucking retard. "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" Cena shouted as he ran to one side of the room then back over and did a little dance before brushing off his shoulder, getting ready to do the Five Knuckle Shuffle, a move that only phony wrestlers do. Klonoa however, dodged the fist that was coming down and then kicked at it.

"Yow!" Cena cried as gripped his hand. "Holy fudge and mustard, that's a pretty good kick there, baby!"

Klonoa looked at Cena like he was stupid. "Um...what did you say?"

Cena got up and frowned, not looking intimidating at all. "I said it's time to give you an Attitude Adjustment!" he shouted as he quickly hoisted Klonoa onto his shoulders and did a fireman's carry slam onto the floor. Klonoa got up from that right away, much to the shock of everybody in the whole fucking room.

"BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" shouted Michael Cole the cock gobbler. "NOBODY GETS UP FROM THE AA!"

Klonoa looked at everybody. "Are you guys that dumb?" he asked. "What he just did didn't really hurt me."

Cena opened his mouth in shock before growling in anger. He then grabbed the couch and picked it up. "How dare you no sell my finisher!" Cena shouted as he threw it into Klonoa's direction. However, Klonoa managed to get out of the way by side stepping the couch, causing it to hit the wall and crack it.

"Dammit, John!" Adam whined. "I pay a fortune to have my parties at this place!"

"Don't worry, Mr. Rose I'll pay for it." Cena said in a monotone voice, showing how truly bad of an actor he is. "NOW HIT MY MUSIC!"

Klonoa sighed. "I hope it'll be better than what I've been listening to for the past two hours." he mumbled to himself.

That's when John Cena's theme song began playing. As soon as Klonoa heard the "YABADOOOOO!" part, along with the verse and the annoying horn in the background, Klonoa wished he could shoot himself quite frankly. What made it worse was that Cena began singing his own theme song!

"WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" Klonoa cried as he put his hands to his ears.

Seeing the distraction, Adam Rose came up from behind with a twenty inch dildo and hit Klonoa over the head with it, knocking him unconscious.

"HEY, THAT'S MY FAVORITE TOY!" Michael Cole whined.

Adam Rose ignored it as he picked up the unconscious Klonoa and put him over his shoulder. "Thanks, John." he said.

"Anytime, Adam." said Cena with his phony smile.

"OH BOY! OH BOY!" Michael Cole cried as he began hopping up and down. "I can't wait to have my own pet rabbit! I'm gonna name it Blowjob!"

Adam Rose smacked Michael Cole upside the head. "Stop being a lemon, Cole." he said. "This rabbit's going to be my newest rose bud. Boy once I stick my fist up this boy's ass, he will truly know what it's like to party hard all the time! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Start the partying again!"

Then the music began to play and the party goers began to dance again as Michael Cole and John Cena walked away with Adam Rose who was carrying the unconscious Klonoa in his grasp. Huepow had seemed to fuck up Klonoa's travel back home, because apparently the portal sent Klonoa to a world of weird ass homosexual dick obsessed phony WWE superstars and commentators. What will happen to Klonoa up to this point? Will Adam Rose shove a fist up the poor boy's ass? Will Michael Cole force him to play with this 'toys' just for fun? Or will John Cena teach him to 'never give up' and 'rise above hate' and try to brainwash him into liking a phony? Find out, next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE: I do not own Klonoa or anything from WWE. If I did own WWE, John Cena would not be WWE World Heavyweight Champion right now! Anyways, have fun reading the story and hope you like it! This is a story in dedication to Bruce Blitz.**

Okay, so the last time we had left off, Klonoa had found himself to wake up in a world full of phony gay ass WWE superstars of todays world suck as Adam Rosen and John Cena. He had tried to combat them off with everything he could, but of course he was overpowered by one of Michael Cole's favorite "toys" which was used by Adam Rose. He was currently being taken away by Adam Rose to somewhere was he was being followed by "Fuckboy Buckethead" John Cena, and Michael "The Cock Smuggler" Cole.

"This is so exciting!" Michael Cole shouted as he hopped up and down like a little girl, which is what he actually wants to be. Adam Rose giggled and kissed Michael Cole's cheek, causing Cole to blush a little.

"Relax, Michael." Adam said softly in his gay ass Australian/British voice. "We'll be able to play with our new friend once the boss gives him a 'prostate exam.'"

John Cena then smiled his cocky arrogant smile that he usually does whenever the phony motherfucker gets his ass booed out of the fucking building at every live event and said, "Oh do I love the boss's exams. They're the reason why I'm at the top!"

"Vintage Cena!" Michael Cole shouted at the top of his lungs and ran over to hug Cena as he nuzzled his chest and closed his eyes. Cena just chuckled softly and stroked the cock gobbler's gay ass hair.

Adam Rose smiled at his two companions. How he loved being with Michael Cole, who was claimed to be Adam Rose's favorite rose bud. The only reason JBL hated Adam Rose was because that he was jealous that Michael Cole loved to be anal with Adam Rose more than with him, but what really irked JBL was the bunny. In reality, JBL was afraid of bunnies since he was a little boy. The only people who knew this were Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. They always used to tease him about it off the air, but dared to never go farther with it because one time, JBL made Michael Cole sleep on the couch and threw away all his favorite dildos. Michael had cried and cried all those weeks, until JBL went out and bought him a new set of dildos.

Anyway, they walked into a room, which looked like an office. There sitting at a desk was the chairman himself, Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon. McMahon had an evil smile on his face as he saw Adam Rose, John Cena and Michael Cole walk into his office.

"Hello, gentlemen!" McMahon shouted in his raspy voice as he stood up and opened his arms. Michael Cole shrieked like a happy girl and ran over to hug McMahon. As he brought his chubby fat arms around McMahon's 70 year old muscular body, Vince looked down at Michael and scowled at him.

"I didn't ask you to hug me, dammit!" Vince shouted, causing Michael to jump off McMahon and he ran and hid behind Cena. "I'm sorry, boss!" Michael cried in fear. "I didn't know, I-,"

"I don't care anymore, you cock lover!" McMahon shouted before glancing at Klonoa. "I care about how we're going to use this little creature for our next storyline..." McMahon walked over to where the rabbit like creature was laying consciously on Adam Rose's shoulder and began stroking his big floppy ears.

"Oh...have I been waiting a long time for an animal like this..." McMahon said in a soothing seductive voice. "I know the perfect storyline for him..."

"What did you have in mind, boss?" Cena asked in his monotone voice that he uses whenever he cuts a boring shitty ass promo of his.

Vince smiled as his eyes widened. "It goes like this..." he said as he took a deep breath and spoke. "Adam, you bring him in the next night on Raw, and introduce him as your newest Rose bud. Then, you will show everybody how you become a rose bud."

Adam Rose smirked a gay evil smirk. "Oh I'll be delighted, boss." he said.

"Good." McMahon said before continuing. "Then, the man in the rabbit costume will be jealous of your new rose bud rabbit, which will result in a match for Summerslam: Whoever the real rabbit's name is...versus...THE ROSE BUD RABBIT! They will compete in a cage match. But not just an ordinary cage match, it will be like if you put your pet rabbit in a cage..."

"Oh boy!" Michael cried happily. "The fans will love that! I can finally say "Vintage bunnies!"

"Plus, I'll make this rabbit learn how to suck on a lolipop!" Adam Rose shouted with excitement as he did his little gay hop.

"Then after that," McMahon said to finish the storyline off. "The rabbit will be a mascot for you, John. That way you can try to use the rabbit in order to get over."

John Cena touched his hat with his index finger and thumb and tipped it a little as he nodded his head. "Sure thing, boss." he said in his monotone voice again like he was trying to sound like Barack Obama. Fuck this clown! Really!

McMahon smiled in satisfaction as he took off his suit jacket, untucked his dress shirt, took off his belt, unbuttoned his pants, unzipped them and dropped them to the ground before pulling down his underwear a little. "OKAY JOHN! TIME FOR DINNER!" McMahon declared.

John smiled big as he walked over to McMahon, got on his knees and went over to lift up McMahon's flacid dick. Cena then put his dry lips on Vince's shaft and began to slowly suck on it. McMahon smiled in relaxation as he watched his favorite walking billboard suck on his genitals.

Michael Cole and Adam Rose giggled as Rose set Klonoa down on the couch and followed Cole out of the room. That's when Cena began to put his hand under McMahon's balls and began to fondle them as he continued to suck on McMahon's now erect dick.

Klonoa began to groan as he slowly moved a bit on the couch, unbeknownst to McMahon and Cena. Klonoa slowly opened his eyes and felt his forehead, rolling over to the left side just to see John Cena giving Vince McMahon a blowjob. Klonoa widened his eyes and let out a piercing scream from the top of his lungs.

"GODDDAMMMITTT!" McMahons shouted as he covered his ears and dropped down on one knee.

John Cena screamed like he was having an orgasm and covered his ears as well.

Once Klonoa stopped screaming, he panted before speaking. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!" he shouted in fear and disgust.

"Cena's having his dinner, you ungratful son of a bitch!" Vince growled at Klonoa. "And if you don't stop screaming, then YOOOOUUUUURRRRR'EEEEE...FFIIIIIIIRRREEEEDDDD!"

Klonoa looked at him in confusion. "I don't even work for you!" he cried. "I don't even know who you are!"

Cena sighed and stood up, walking over to Klonoa, but the rabbit kid began to crawl away from Cena. "You're the corny man who...who...acted like a child and...botched everything."

Cena chuckled and squated down to Klonoa's level. "Yes I am." he said. "And that man right there is the owner of the WWE, Vince McMahon. And..." he then glared at Klonoa and pulled him close to his face. "IF YOU EVER SCREAM LIKE THAT AGAIN," he shouted, trying to sound tough, even though Klonoa wasn't scared anymore now that Cena was screaming. "I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I GIVE YOU WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!"

"Which is what?" Klonoa asked. "Another bad wrestling maneuver?"

McMahon walked over to Klonoa and smacked him square across the face. "YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT CENA THAT WAY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" he growled. Klonoa rubbed at his face and looked up at McMahon.

"CENA IS THE BEST WRESTLER ALIVE TODAY!" McMahon growled. "ALL THE KIDS LOVE HIM! HE HAS THE MOST BUYRATES, AND-,"

"From what I've seen, he's a phony ass queer who likes to eat your penis!" Klonoa interrupted him as he leaped on McMahon's shoulder. "And now I'm leaving!" Klonoa punched McMahon sqaure across the face as he fell down. Klonoa leaped off of McMahon and landed on the ground, running out the door.

McMahon rubbed at his face, which was bleeding a little and glared at Cena. "GET HIM! I SAID GET HIM, DAMMIT!"

Cena nodded and began running after Klonoa. Now if you watch Cena run, he runs like he's got something shoved up his ass or something like that. The guy just can't seem to do anything right. I mean it's like he's botching his own running! Who does that?!

Meanwhile, Klonoa had managed to get past all the party goers in the Exotic Express, and made his way out of the building. Klonoa panted as he looked around, trying to find what he could use to help him escape. Then Klonoa found a convertible of some sorts and ran over to it. He hopped into the open window, and began to hot wire it. After doing so, Klonoa started the engine as he heard a voice shouting at him.

"HEY, GET OUT OF MY CAR!" shouted the voice of some retarded reality star. Klonoa looked up and saw a man with short drown hair, wearing a suit of some sorts. It was The Miz.

Klonoa smirked and put the car in reverse and stepped on the gas pedal, moving it backwards as the car ran over The Miz, killing him instantly.

"I had to do that." Klonoa said to himself before putting the car in drive, and floored it. Klonoa began to speed down the road.

Cena ran out and found the Miz's dead body. He gasped as he ran over and did a prayer for Miz in a monotone voice and then ran over found a limosene for him to drive, and then pulled out of the place and drove down the road after Klonoa.

Klonoa was trying to avoid cars as much as possible, and as he took a sharp turn to avoid a bus, Klonoa accidentally ran into a traffic pole. As the car and the pole collided, the car's front side was crushed and totalled. Moments later, Klonoa awoke to find most of his bones bruised not from the accident, but mostly from the air bag. Klonoa groaned in pain as he looked up to see what he had crashed into. Before he could get his thoughts together, a random song that sounded like it belonged in a ballroom began playing somewhere.

"What the hey?" Klonoa asked in a groan before suddenly, a man wearing some strange kind of pants and a purple vest, jumped down on the hood of the car and began to dance along to the music. Klonoa shrieked at the man suddenly appearing. The man also had some queer haircut.

"Who who are y-," Klonoa tried to say, until the man shushed him by putting his finger to Klonoa's lips.

"Boy..." the man said in a lean relaxed but seductive kind of way. "You shouldn't be driving a car...you're so young and...small...and..." the man began to pet Klonoa's ears. "Fury...soft..."

Klonoa squirmed and tried to crawl away, but his new injuries wouldn't let him. "Leave me alone, you femine queer!" Klonoa cried, tears coming down his eyes.

The man slowly brushed away the tears and silenced Klonoa once again. "IT'SSSSSS...FFFFAAAAANNNNNNDDAAAANNNNNGGGOOOOOOOO..." the man said in a low calm voice.

Klonoa slowly leaned backwards, trying to stay away from the man who called himself Fandango. That's when more trouble came.

A limousene pulled up next to them all of the sudden. One of the cardoors opened, and that's when John Cena came walking out.

"Damn..." Fandango muttered to himself. "Stay silent." he ordered Klonoa before hopping ot of the car and walking over to Cena.

"Hey! Fandango!" Cena said cheerfully as he came to a stop.

"John Cena..." Fandango said quietly. "I have this all...taken care of...It was just a car accident..."

Cena shook his head. "Just a car accident?" he asked him. "Fandango, you crashed into a freaking pole! But why aren't you hurt?"

Fandango did some gay dance gesture and looked at Cena. "Because I'm...FFFFAAAANNNNDDDDAAAAAANNNGGGOOOOO..." he said to Cena.

"Alright well..." that's when Cena noticed something strange about the car. "Wait a minute." he said as he looked up at Fandango. "Fandango, why the hell does your car look an awful lot like The Miz's."

Fandango widened an eye at that. "John..." he said as he made another gesutre and gently brushed Cena's chest. "I would never drive something that looks like that faggot's vehicle..."

Cena then grabbed Fandango's wrist and began sqeezing it. "You killed The Miz didn't you?" he asked quietly before squeezing it harder. "DIDN'T YOU?!"

Fandango ahhed a bit at the pain Cena was giving to him, trying to say that he loved it, but nevertheless, Fandango was shocked to hear those words coming out of Cena's mouth.

"The Miz is dead?" Fandango asked. "Whatever happened to him?"

Cena glared at Fandango. "You killed him!" he shouted. "Don't try to twist things and say that you don't know shit!"

Fandango glared back at Cena. "I don't twist things to try to get myself over like you do every fucking week, you phony." he scoffed. "The only reason I have this gimmick is to make your no talented ass look good."

Cena widened his eyes at that comment. Of course he got this shit from the "internet fans" everyday, but he hated it everytime somebody spoke the truth about him. The truth hurts, don't it, Fuckboy?

John Cena punched Fandango in the face, but completely missed it, causing Fandango to giggle.

"You botch so many of your punches." Fandango said before delivering a swift kick to Cena's face, causing him to fall on one knee and grip his right shoulder, causing Fandango to growl in annoyance.

"Your in ring psychology is terrible even outside of the ring!" Fandango growled as he kneed Cena in the gut and began to punch his face in.

"Oh my god!" shouted a high pitched voice. "Cena's in trobule!"

Klonoa looked up from the car to see who that was. It looked to be a man in his 60s, had short dark brown hair, looked like he supported Cena for a living. It was Jerry Lawler, and next to him was the cock gobbler, Michael Cole, and another man in a million dollar suit with brown hair and about six foot six, John "Bradshaw" Layfield.

"Where's the bunny, MICHAEL?!" JBL shouted in Cole's ear.

"I don't know, John!" Michael shouted. "But how will Cena come back from his beating Fandango is giving him? Find out when we return!"

"Return from what?!" Klonoa shouted in confusion, but realized he had made noise. "Oops."

"THE BUNNY'S IN THE CAR, MICHAEL!" JBL shouted in his queer way that he said Michael Cole's name.

"Now Cena's got two problems to deal with!" Jerry whined. "I hope he finds a way to overcome the odds!"

Meanwhile, Klonoa was trying to get himself out of the car and away from the WWE superstars, but it was kinda hard thanks to his injuries. Klonoa however, managed to open the door and fall out of it, falling on his bruised arm, causing him to squeal in pain a little.

Fandango got up from John Cena and walked over to Klonoa and kicked him in the face.

"HEY DON'T DO THAT TO THE BUNNY!" JBL shouted at Fandango.

"Fandango has no repsect for the little creatures in the world!" Jerry added.

Fandango ignored them and picked up Klonoa by the ears. "I told you to stay put and shut up!" Fandango growled and smacked Klonoa across the face.

Klonoa felt the sting on his cheek as Fandango hit him. "How dare you not listen to Fandango!" Fandango shouted again and continued to hit him some more.

"Look at how he's treating the poor thing!" Michael shouted at his partners.

"I know, right." Jerry scoffed. "Fandango disgusts me."

"Anyway, we're back live, and while on commercial break, Fandango had just found the bunny and has started to slap him silly." Michael Cole said. "You can only watch these ten seconds on the WWE App. All you have to do is go to google store on your phone, press apps and go to the WWE icon, hit download and you're good."

"Wait a minute, John Cena's getting up!" King shouted in joy.

"Oh my gawd!" JBL cried. "Nothing can keep Cena down!"

And they were right. Cena was slowly getting to his feet in an awkward way, trying to sell the fact that he had taken a serious beating even though he was doing a terrible job at it.

Fandango turned around and saw Cena, standing tall over him. "PUT THE BUNNY DOWN!" Cena shouted in a heroic retarded voice.

Fandango growled and tossed Klonoa back into the car and got ready to fight Cena.

"This is it!" Jerry declared. "Who is the better wrestler?"

"That's an easy one!" Michael laughed. "It's Cena!"

"Nice job, Michael!" McMahon shouted into Cole's headset.

Fandango ran at Cena but Cena ran back and delivered a shoulder block.

"Here comes Cena!" Jerry shouted.

Fandango leaped up and tried to throw a punch at Cena, but Cena ducked and delivered a spin out powerbomb.

"VINTAGE CENA!" Michael shouted as he pulled out a bag and began to pour the dildos that were in the bag onto him.

"PUT YOUR TOYS AWAY, MICHAEL!" JBL shouted at Cole.

Cena then looked around at everybody, then held up his right hand.

"You know what's coming next!" Jerry declared excitingly as he bent over and waved his hand in his face and shouted. "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" as did Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

Cena ran at the car and bounced off it before doing a little dance, then delivered his signature move known as the Five Knuckle Shuffle. What a ripoff of the People's Elbow, fuck Cena.

Fandango stood up at he check on his face. Cena then sqautted down a little to get ready to do the AA. Once Fandango turned around, Cena picked up Fandango in a standing fireman's carry as The commentators began to jizz their pants, also as Michael Cole showered more of his toys onto his body.

"Cena's going for it!" Michael shouted in excitement.

"Time to give Fandango an Attitude Adjustment!" shouted Jerry.

Cena then threw Fandango the opposite way flat onto the top of the car and went for a pin for no reason.

"ONE! TWO! THREE!" Michael shouted. "Cena wins!"

"Uhhh..." Klono groaned as he looked up and saw Cena acting like a clown as he began to celebrate his fake victory.

"Cena is the greatest wrestler of all time!" Michael shouted.

"Cena picked up a hard fought win over a game Fandango with so many odds to overcome!" JBL cried.

"Nobody is greater than Cena!" Jerry shouted happily. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE GUYS?!

"From what I've seen, Cena sucks as a wrestler." Klonoa said to the others. Everybody gasped at what Klonoa just said. "What?" he asked confusingly.

"He's an internet fan!" Michael shouted.

"What the heck?" Klonoa said. "You should know that I don't like him! You were there and you tried to rape me!"

Cena picked up Klonoa and held a hand over his mouth. "Listen, kid." Cena said. "You don't wanna speak out against us. Now I'm gonna bring you back to the Exotic Express so you can become a rose bud."

Klonoa tried to escape by struggling, but he was too weak to fight out of it. Cena walked over to the limousene and placed Klonoa in the back of it. The commentators followed in and and began scolding Klonoa.

"You should know better than to talk out against Cena!" Michael shouted.

"Yeah, I don't know who you think you are!" Jerry cried.

"I can't believe the bunny's a meanie." JBL muttered.

Cena got into the driver's seat before driving away, leaving Fandango's unconscious body behind, well at least he's supposed to be unconscious. I mean a standing fireman's cary followed by a drop doesn't knock anybody out. It's a shitty ass move and a shitty ass finisher! John Cena, this fuckboy buckethead, the shit factor of professional wrestling botched everything in his match with Fandango! HOW THE HELL DOES THIS MAN GET PRAISED!

Anyway, Klonoa had tried to escape the clutches of the WWE, but once again failed and is now stuck riding along with the annoying dick obsessed commentators. What happens next?


End file.
